Re: Anatomy of a friendship: Let's be careful out there

[Robert Silas <robert.silas@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

Bruno,
I am sorry to hear your brother-in-laws' misfortune, whishing him a full recovery.
No matter how careful we are cars can kill.  Just recently was a near death situation during a real slow ride with the CVMC,  Sunday ride with vintage bikes.
Bob Silas
Montreal
'94 R1100RS
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: Bruno Valeri 
  To: oilheads@xxxxxxxxx 
  Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2004 11:39 PM
  Subject: Anatomy of a friendship: Let's be careful out there


  Warning: long.
  It's with some ambivalence that I'm writing this.

  I'm sitting here at the keyboard with a gamut of emotions
  running through me. Interspersed with searing clarity and
  painful haze. Flashes of memories, of life-intense moments
  streaming by.

  I'm typing this, driven by some need to maybe find some
  healing and resolution.

  On the surface, you could not find 2 more different
  individuals.

  I was related to Allan. He was my brother in law. But
  neither of us initially felt much affinity for the other.
  Different worlds, different apparent values, different
  perspectives.

  Maybe part of that had to do with some Alpha male thing
  coming into clash. Probably.

  This went on for a time.

  And then Allan bought a motorcycle. He was getting back into
  riding after a long hiatus. Soon, he began riding it on some
  solo week-end tours where he'd go off camping.

  Over time, the motorcycle element gradually brought us
  closer in conversation. One day, on pure impulse, we set up
  a ride. It was late in the afternoon, but no matter. The
  weather was great and I needed to get some air. We ended up
  riding well into the night.

  Good ride. Felt good. There was some apparent affinity in
  riding styles and personality. This led to more and longer
  rides. Again the pacing was comfortable in a manner that you
  don't notice it.

  He was a solid, reliable rider. Learned quickly and had an
  affinity for riding a motorcycle.

  Allan showed an appetite for life, exhibited a life energy
  that had me stand back and notice. In comparison, my
  approach was more reasoned.

  I smiled inwardly as I noticed how people reacted to him
  whenever we stopped. If you've read Zorba the Greek, you'll
  understand.

  More recently he had read an article in a local riding
  magazine about riding 1000 miles in a 24 hr period and was
  intrigued by the idea.

  I told him that we could do better than that. We could set
  up a ride that would allow us to do slightly better than
  that on the way down to a rally, ride some great roads in
  the area for 2 days, and then repeat on the return ride
  home.

  There were a couple of rallies happening in Missouri on the
  same week-end, about 25 miles apart. We could ride down to
  Arkansas, enjoy some great roads, work our way up to
  Missouri for the rallies, and then head back home.

  I began researching good roads for our destination. The trip
  itinerary that was shaping up was going to make this one
  very memorable ride. Too many good roads. Too little time.

  This would be a great trip.

  But first we needed to set up a training session that would
  serve to develop some endurance and also be a good shake-out
  for gear selection. A reasonably long ride that would enable
  him to go through the different parts of the riding day and
  weather patterns. This would allow him to sort out his
  equipment. Find out what worked and what didn't. It would
  also give me a sense of how much endurance he was capable
  of.

  On Sat Oct 2nd, we pushed off at 6am for a stroll down
  rte. 100 in Vermont. Great day for equipment shake-out. We
  had an early morning gamut of cool weather, fine drizzle,
  and fog.

  From the bottom of rte.100, we made decent time as we headed
  towards Vanson Leathers in Fall River MA. This was to be our
  turn back point.

  We enjoyed the short visit there as we took time to munch,
  browse the Vanson store, and finally plan possible return
  routes home.

  The ride back was an interstate blitz. The weather
  co-operated by throwing some stiff winds and rains across
  our path as we crossed New Hampshire towards 81. Perfect for
  sorting equipment.

  We made it back at around 11pm. A great, 800 mile day. Both
  of us were fresh and alert. Both of us were easily ready to
  ride another 200miles.

  We stood there at our split off point and briefly talked
  about the day. We both felt alive and vibrant with that life
  energy that I often quest for.

  Standing there I realized that I felt a definite
  brotherhood.
  During our rides together, I had discovered that there was
  so much more that we had in common than what we differed on.
  As I stood there, I realized that we had connected, a
  bonding of sorts.

  Bonding is a strange thing. You often don't notice while it
  is occurring. You become aware after the fact.

  As we clasped hands, I impulsively gave him a hug, the type
  of hug that I give my younger brother when we meet. This
  would have been unthinkable a short 2 months ago. But at
  that moment, it felt like the right thing to do. We then
  stood around talking for another 20 minutes or so.

  And then we went our separate ways. He going North, I riding
  East.

  The original plan had been to depart for our trip on Wed
  night and return late Sunday night.

  On Mon night I called him and informed him that I needed to
  cancel. Things were just too tight at work.

  On the other hand, there were still a couple more
  opportunities left to choose from in the upcoming weeks. We
  both could re-schedule. No problem.

  There was an interesting rally scheduled for Oct 14-17th in
  Copper Canyon, Mexico. Now THIS was going to be different.
  Different culture, different landscape, different language.
  A couple of more days required for the trip, but we both
  could accommodate this.

  On Friday night he called me and said he was going on a ride
  to check out some modifications that he had done on his
  bike, including a connection for his new electric vest. Was
  I interested in going along?

  Too tired. I was on the internet checking out the weather
  systems for our possible ride the next morning. I declined.
  I had some house chores that I wanted to do before our trip.

  I'd call him later that night, I'd told him. At 10:30pm, I
  left a message for him on his cell phone.

  At 7:30 on Sat morning the phone rang. It was his wife.

  She informed me that Allan had been involved in a motorcycle
  accident last night at 11:30pm.

  What?

  She said that it had occurred on their street.

  WHAT?

  She then said that he was at the hospital in the intensive
  care unit.

  W H A T ??!!

  The accident occurred less than 300 feet from his home.

  What happened is not clear. Though it seems that some
  element of exuberance might have initially been involved, it
  doesn't explain the outcome.

  I don't have many details yet, but it seems that the bike
  highsided. Allan received a strong blow to the head that
  left a visible indentation in his helmet liner. In the
  unfolding, the motorcycle tumbled and landed on him.

  Aside from severe head trauma, we know that he has suffered
  a fractured pelvis and punctured lung. They have yet to rule
  out spinal injury.

  As a result of extensive internal bleeding, keeping his
  blood pressure up at a safe minimum was a challenge for the
  first 8 hours in the emergency room.

  Thursday Oct 14th

  This event happened last Friday night.
  So far, Allan has been in an unresponsive coma. I've been at
  the ICU every night.

  He's now stable, brain pressure finally coming down.

  Prognosis is bleak.

  Life is fragile indeed.

  Let's be careful out there.


  Bruno
  Montreal, Canada
  CBR 929
  http://pages.videotron.com/mcrides

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