The Breakfast Club: MOA Rally 2015 [page 9]

Monday, July 20, 2015

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Alberto’s tale… DAY EIGHT - BILLINGS

Last night we barely made it to dinner at the Shell gas Station. Actually it was a good dinner. Not worth describing though. When you are hungry… Anything works.

Back to the county fairgrounds. We are supposed to pay $10 to camp at the grounds, but there is no way to pay it, nor anyone to pay it to. While I was busy typing the story for you guys, the other two are breaking and entering! Yes, these hoodlums are using a credit card to break into the bathroom, and the electrical facility. They both are frantic on taking a shower and wash up. I could care less, I’m a little ripe by now… but it is not the first time I have smelled ripe. Very ripe! So what! Tomorrow I’ll shower in style at the motel.

We went about setting the tents. Harvey and Chris in a 400 people tent. Yes you read correctly, that thing is huge! And I set my tent next to them, excuse me, my very dainty tent.

The next morning I was up at 4:30 complements of the local rooster. Light, this far north comes much earlier and the rooster sure lets you know it. I got up and tried to make coffee. Maiden voyage of my new “jet boiler”. It really works! The boiler worked, the coffee, sucked!, because it was too weak… Not enough coffee. I like it strong, I like it strong enough to curl my hair… It did not. Bleh! I drunk it anyway. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Harvey and Chris were up before six. Great! We loaded up. While looking at the sky, “it will probably rain”. Nah, was my take. Harvey put on rain gear, Chris and I were of the same mind… “Nah!”. And we left with breakfast in mind.

It is early. Not cold but not warm. Rather balmy. The sky… Dark, and getting darker when, BOOM! A lightning flashes and rain drops the size of silver dollars commence to come down. I could not believe the size. One of the taindrops hit me on the leg, OUCH! and at 45 miles an hour it hurt. No. Do not panic. While the sky is dark, it is only over our heads. Else where, sunny skies. It will be short, besides there is suppose to be a drought going on… So for sure it will not last.

Pants are partly wet and cold. We found our way to Colville, not that we could fail to find it. We will be on highway 20 for another 300 miles. Anything we do will be on this road.

Breakfast was notable for several reasons, primarily that it was a huge breakfast under $6 bucks! Another notable feature was the realization that tattoos are incredibly prevalent. All the young girls have tattoos, stupid tattoos. And I have yet to see a tattoo that made a girl prettier.

It was our intention to stay on highway 20. The GPS somehow told Chris to turn left, which he did. In short order we found ourselves somewhere. Do not ask where. We do not know, but this road is a beauty! The GPS cannot be that far off, so we stayed on the road up a mountain, twisting left and right. What a dream of a road. When, in the distance, the highway sign indicates we are in the town of Cusick. Turn right for highway 20 East. End of dreamy road. Bonus, it was a short cut that removed a ton of mileage. Of a sudden we are much further advance… YES! With fist pump.

Highway 20 also is known as highway 2 and 200. The prevalent number henceforth is highway 200 which according to Chris, “is the best set of scenic highways to travel in the United States”. All of you, memorize that bit of trivia, and I’ll confirm that so far, it has been nothing short of spectacular.

We were close to departing Idaho. Idaho is barely 60 miles wide at the top. Learning this I insisted on having something to eat or consume in Idaho. Whatever. You see, if we do that we can say, “to have been in Idaho”. If we consume nothing we would have been “through Idaho”, in my mind not the same thing. And no justice to Idaho. I know, stupid right? So they humored me and we stopped. There we met some retire guy and his honey riding a BMW Adventure. What a guy! Telling us all about the different ways and roads in Idaho and Montana. I am certain he was just showing off for the honey. Fun though.

Hit the road again. And boy, did we hit it. 80 mph, I already told you about that, but 90! How about them apples! And that was slow. Yes, I also did 100. How about 110 mph? I am not kidding. Okay, let us rain on this speed parade. Chris claims that the BMW speedometer is deliberately set 5% higher. “For safety reasons”, he claims. Baloney! Is my take. I do not believe that BMW would deliberately sell defective equipment. Wait a minute, Chris is not in the baloney business. He is pretty factual when it comes to Beemers. So there you have it, believe factual Chris or story telling Alberto. I say, I did 110 mph and to prove it, at great effort took a picture of the stupid speedometer! How’s that for safe? Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Beemer-boy!

We whizzed our way toward Missoula. Yes, 80 and 90 for the most part. In one of the stops by the river side we met a fascinating guy coming out of the water in a kayak. An avid follower of anything Lewis and Clark. There were Chris and this guy talking roads, towns and rivers related to the famed explorers. Fun to listen to so much history packed between these two guys.

There, Chris was in his element yapping away. “Common Chris, we have got to make tracks”, I interrupted. He agreed, started toward his bike, took a step back, and there he was yapping again with the guy. Chris, he cannot help it, he’s a yapper!

We were only 40 miles to Missoula, so we cruised it all the way to the motel. Called Randy and told him where we were staying in case he wanted to join us, which he said he would,

Dinner - right before we departed the motel, Randy arrived in his yellow BMW. He was a bit tired so he did not join us for dinner. For us however, dinner, was another adventure. I had been wanting Chinese food for some time now. So, Chinese food it was going to be. First try, the restaurant turn out to be a take-out. Second try, the restaurant was out of business. Third try, it was closed. I said, “common guys, we can eat anything, it need not be Chinese”. Ahh, but, this crew does not quit just like that. “One more, Alberto”. Fourth try. A Chinese buffet in a shopping center that was all abandoned, except for the Chinese restaurant. It had a lots of cars in front of it, then rest of the shopping center - empty. Hmmm… Harbinger of sorts? In we went, and let me tell you, we had a massive pig-out. $11 bucks. Chris and Harvey ate to almost insure the facility to go bankrupt. How can they eat that much? Must have been a half dozen loadings before either considered slowing down… Had to top it off with some jello, tapioca pudding and ice cream. I bet they both have one hollow-leg and pack it all in it!

Booze. Chris and Harvey. Ahh, they like the stuff. Finding where to buy booze on a Monday night at 8:00 pm in Missoula… No easy task. We must have ridden clear ten miles till spotting a casino-liquor store. But, booze they got!

Back to the motel and…. Pickle the brains! They promptly went at it. Me, the boozer I am going to get drunk “on a manly drink” - diet coke!

Randy and Chris are rooming. Harvey and I shared a room. Well, have it known that Harvey is another yapper. Oh yes, he loves conversation and talk. Fun talking. I had to stop this story last night just to listen to his tales, some quite tall!

Now is 7:50 am. While waiting for Randy, Chris and Harvey in tHe other room I finish this tall-tale for you all.

See you in Billings! The far end of our journey, where the BMW Rally takes place.